Navigating Emotions

 When you were young, did you ever feel like no one understood what you were feeling? I know I did. In fact, this was a fairly regular occurrence for me, so much so that I began to try to bury many of my emotions. Unfortunately, this doesn't work. 

Everyone experiences a wide array of emotions and this includes, especially, children. As our children grow and develop, they will begin to recognize and express their emotions in different ways. For toddlers, these emotions can be pretty wild, from tantrums to obvious excitement and enjoyment. It is easy to notice that a toddler is feeling emotions, and we must teach them that we understand their emotions. If we can't be empathetic with out children from a young age, then it will be increasingly difficult for them to feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings, opening up to us, when they become teenagers. 

Just a we would want a friend to say, "I'm sorry, that sounds hard" when we are expressing frustration or discouragement, so should we empathize with our young children. To them, losing a toy or dropping a strawberry might feel like the end of the world because they don't know any differently. So we should get to their level and say "I'm sorry, that must be hard". If they are able to feel safe expressing their feelings now, it will be easier for them to emotionally cope later in life. 

When I was in elementary school, I learned that often, if I expressed fear or concern over a fire drill or other scenario that happened while I was away from home, I was often met with a lecture or dismissal. Eventually, I just stopped sharing my thoughts to avoid either. By my teenage years, I didn't really feel safe emotionally at home and avoided being at home as much as I could. 

That is not how I want my children, or your children, to feel.

There have actually been scientific studies conducted on validating emotions for children. In one of these, the researchers examine the effectiveness of different response to the expression of fear. You can find this article here: https://researchonline.jcu.edu.au/6133/1/6133_Sorin_2003.pdf.

If this topic seems unfamiliar to you, as it was to me, there are so many resources available for help and learning. It may be different at first to validate your child's emotions, but in the long term you both will be better for it.